jesuspaidtheprice asked a question:

What would you do to overcome depression?

Hey dear friend, thank you for your honesty in asking. I was actually struck with a heavy episode this week. While there’s no easy formula to just “overcome” depression, here are a few firsthand thoughts. Please know that this isn’t a comprehensive list that will cover every angle, and if you need help, please seek it immediately, anywhere that you can.

1) Depression is not your fault. It’s not because of a “lack of faith” or unconfessed sin or unclaimed promises. Most cases of depression have no rules or rhyme or reason. We can’t just choose our way out or recite some magic incantation.

2) Define depression. There’s a huge difference between self-pity and clinically diagnosed depression. It’s completely unfair when someone uses “depression” as a mantle of pride, as if it’s a trend or an outfit. At the same time, it’s just as unfair to dismiss someone’s depression as a “phase” or a first world problem.

Continue reading “Five Simple Truths About Fighting Depression” →

jillianchan asked a question:

As someone in ministry, have you seen many people fall from faith? If you have, how do you handle it?

Hey dear friend: I’ve been through this too many times to count. It’s happening now, too. It’s always heartbreaking and always a punch in the stomach. To be truthful, I still grieve for so many friends who went their own way and chose self-destruction. I still lose sleep over it. It’s something you don’t really get over, and something I pray about every day.

I’ve blamed myself; I’ve blamed God; I’ve blamed bad influences; I’ve blamed the church. In the end, I know I can’t persuade anyone to stay faithful. It’s their choice and their autonomy.  I must respect that. As God respects our free will, so must we.

The only thing I can do is stay in touch. I text or call or email, at least a couple times per week. It’s difficult, you know. I feel like I’m being annoying or that I’m wasting my time (and theirs). I feel bitterness and disappointment and helplessness. But I want them to know: I’m still here for you. I’m staying. I don’t care if I look like an idiot. If it means my life, I’ll keep loving on you.

Continue reading “The Heartbreak of Watching Friends Walk Away From Faith” →

ariseandawakenme asked a question:

Hi can you check out “sadmomhair” she’s a young sister in Christ who posted something kinda controversial and I feel like I kinda know where he heart is but I’m not sure how to speak up about the whole thing Thanks in advance 🙂

Hey dear friend, I read up on her blog, and I think it’s great. Normally I would never comment on another blog this way, but she is very refreshing and very clear, with a very strong viewpoint that’s missing in so many voices today.

If I may summarize, I believe her thoughts about purity in one sentence is, “It doesn’t make you a better Christian if you’re a virgin, because God’s love will redeem us all.” I know I’m simplifying what she said here, but that seems to be her thesis. And she’s absolutely right. God will accept and redeem and offer grace to anyone, in any condition, or else He isn’t the God of the Bible.

I also saw all the comments and anonymous messages thrown at this blogger (who by the way, is 18 years old and needs much grace and prayer for her influence and leadership), and I was once again disheartened by our hasty church-culture.

Continue reading “Shaming The “Impure” and Those Who Stand Up For Them” →

[A pastor’s confession.]

Often I’ll have a friend from childhood find out that I’m a pastor and they’re downright incredulous; they’re just as surprised as I am that I ever went from atheism to Christianity, much less ministry. “I thought you were too smart for that” or “You were always the wild guy, never thought you’d settle down.” Most of my friends went the other way and fell out of faith like it was a varsity jacket, or an old diaper.  They ask, “How do you keep believing in all this faith s–t?” – not because they’re trying to trap me, but because they’re genuinely curious for a coherent explanation. They do want something.

To be truthful: most times, I don’t have a good answer.

I often wonder myself, How do I keep believing in all this faith s–t?

Sometimes, I find the whole thing just crazy. When I reduce Christianity down to one or two sentences, it sounds ridiculous coming out of my mouth. I believe that if I telepathically offer my cognitive affection to a Jewish zombie who tells us to eat his flesh and drink his blood, then I’ll have immortality and half a better chance to run for political office.

A fellow Christian will tell me, “Oh no, doubt is a good thing, it means you’re at the edge of solidifying a deeper faith by investigating your most foundational beliefs.” Which I guess could be true.

A fellow atheist will tell me, “Oh no, doubt is a good thing, it means you’re at the edge of coming back to reason and shedding a fear-based crutch that’s having less relevance and respect in the world.” Which I guess could also be true.

Both would say, “You’re finally being intellectually honest.” Both say, “You’ll come around.” Both say, “If they could just admit they don’t have everything right.” Both say, “They’re just so blind and have the same boring arguments and the ‘burden of proof‘ is on them.” Both are rude, unthoughtful, unmoving. And of course, they both love to yell ad hominem.

It all just sounds the same to me. I could quit believing. I could keep believing. I could walk away. I could walk harder.

Continue reading ““How Do You Keep Believing In All This Faith S—t?”” →

godgirlthings asked a question:

Hello pastor! I had a question and was thinking of someone who would help me, you came to my mind because of how much God uses you to inspire me. So, I’m a bit confused. My dad and I were talking about how women are not allowed to lead in certain churches and if it’s right for a woman to be the leader of a church, could you let me know what the Bible says about this? Thank you so much, God bless you!!

 

Hey dear friend, I know this is a very divisive issue with many viewpoints, and I know we won’t all see eye-to-eye on it. I did write a super-long post that partially answers your question here:

– Mega-Post: Female Pastors, Neo-Feminism, and The Scary Words Submission, Quiet, and Penis

(Please forgive the sassy, off-color title. I wrote this when I was a little bit more snarky, back in the day.)

I’m very much open to women being leaders in the church – mainly because the early church was so pro-women that it would be impossible to say it’s not. I mean the church herself is called the “bride,” and I just don’t think theologians can keep word-playing themselves out of that one. The verses we’ve used to “shut down” women in church are surrounded by a much larger context that requires some digging. And if anything, the Bible is incredibly tough on men, with a much more brash upright tone with them.

If men are about to use the Bible as a patriarchal tool, they better cut out all the parts from Genesis to maps. And if men are so desperate to be leaders: I hope we know what we’re getting into. That’s not some kind of easy position to play around with.

Continue reading “What About Female Leaders In The Church?” →

msjbobby asked a question:

Hi! May you share your thoughts regarding the law of attraction related to Christianity? At some point, it’s true that God asks us to be grateful for all things, ask for things we want, and have faith so strong that it could move the mountain. But really, what do you think?

Hey dear friend, as far as I know, I don’t believe the Law of Attraction can really mesh with Christianity all too well. As for me, I don’t always feel like my faith can move a mountain, much less a mole hill.

The Law of Attraction says “like attracts like,” so that if you want something bad enough, it will be drawn to you. I might be simplifying it, but that seems to be the whole concept in a sentence.

There’s a little bit of truth to this, as with all philosophies. If you’re a constantly negative person, then of course, it will cut off opportunities and disregard positive people. If you’re a constantly optimistic person, then the hard times can be handled with poise and perspective.

The problem with many of these self-help philosophies is that they will never work in impoverished areas and third world countries. That’s always my first test. Most bestsellers with a “prosperity” message only work for a certain demographic. My friend, who used to do music gigs for Scientologists, used to say, “You don’t see Scientology centers in the ghetto.” They have exorbitantly high costs to be a member.

Continue reading “The Unlikely Power of the “Law of Attraction”” →

setapartformyking asked a question:

What is your best method you have used or use to let God fully take away any remainder of bitterness? Been struggling with being free from the chains of bitterness and fully forgiving and I don’t like what it’s doing to me.

Hey dear friend, thank you for being so honest and please know: forgiveness is an immensely difficult, uphill climb that often takes a lifetime.

Perhaps the best thing I’ve learned about forgiveness is that forgiving someone doesn’t always happen in one shot. Though it can certainly happen this way, for most of us, it takes a daily wrestling to really be free of our old wounds. I tend to be a slow forgiver, and it’s a process that needs daily work, sometimes even multiple times per hour.

Continue reading “Forgiveness: Not a One-Shot Moment, But a Daily Battle” →