Anonymous asked a question:

Could you help me get a perspective on pride? It always lurking in me. I might do something good just because the opportunity was there, but afterwards, I want to share (brag) about what I just did. I don’t, because I don’t want to look like I’m bragging (about something so small, at that [appearances/pride]). I want to do more, but if it’s hard to stay humble about small things, then how can I handle greater things? And does this desire for greater come from pride?

Hey dear friend, thank you for your honesty and for every ounce of your self-awareness.  While I can’t hope to cover everything about pride, let’s consider a few things together. This may be a jump-off where you can begin your own thoughts on moving forward. As always, please feel free to skip around.

1) The tricky thing about pride is that most people don’t know they have a problem with pride. Including me.

The fact that you can even articulate this about yourself is a step forward — and the tricky thing is that this could make you even more prideful.

I knew someone who used to say, “I don’t struggle with pride, it’s not one of my issues,” and I laughed, because this is exactly what pride does.  Pride is a false self-elevation of our own morality and performance, so that we’re constantly looking down on others and up on ourselves.

Even worse, when I laughed at this guy who was blind to his own pride, then suddenly I became the prideful one by mocking his lack of humility.  That’s how slippery this whole thing really is.  I’ll go so far as to say, pride is the root of every sin, and perhaps the ultimate human problem that Jesus had to die for.

Continue reading “That Tricky, Slippery Monster Called Pride” →

hayleylepugh asked a question:

What do you mean by skeptical Christian in your description? Don’t you have strong faith? (I’m not asking this in a rude way, I’m just genuinely curious.)

Hey my dear friend, I was an atheist for longer than I’ve been a Christian, so my natural default mode is to doubt, a lot.  There are days I think this whole faith thing is crazy and I want to throw the Bible in the trash.  I’m sorry if that’s too candid or honest.  But it’s one of those things in the church we just don’t talk about, and I’m learning I’m not alone.  It’s the entire point of this blog.

When Moses parted the Red Sea, I’m sure there were Israelites saying “In your face you Egyptians!” — but then another group was screaming the entire way through.  Yet they all made it by grace.  I’m one of the screamers.

I’m not endorsing a halfway lukewarm faith.  I believe God wants us to have a robust, vibrant, thriving relationship with Him.  But at least for me, I’ll be limping to the finish-line.  I’m more Peter than Paul.  I’m more Martha than Mary.  I’m more David than Daniel.

Continue reading “The Skeptical Christian Limping to the Finish Line” →

mythoughtfulmind asked a question:

Hi! Within the last 6 months or so, I’ve thought a lot more about relationships than I ever have before. I’ve never been in one & it gets tough to see so many around me sometimes. With the secular world telling me to get out there, and the Christian views saying I just need to wait & “don’t worry, relationships are hard & being single is good!” sometimes I don’t know what I’m even “allowed” to feel among my Christian peers about this adventure of dating. Advice for a girl not sure what to think?

Hey my friend, first please allow me the grace to point you to my book on dating.  It actually talks about the very issues you’re talking about.  I’m sorry for the shameless plug, but it’s less than nine bucks and I think it’ll at least jumpstart your own thought process on relationships.

The truth is that you’re going to hear about a billion different opinions on dating.  In the book I discuss how we’re all living within the reactionary backlash of someone else’s thoughts, so each opinion on dating (or life or faith or politics) is just a response to another response.  That’s why we have the bizarre subculture of Christian dating versus the cool casual hipster pastors who shrug at purity.

My humble opinion is:

Continue reading “Too Much Advice For My Dating Life” →

The next time you walk into a room full of people, I want you to see how they talk and interact and exchange and tell stories and make jokes. Simply watch, listen, soak it in.

Soon you’ll see there’s a hidden anxiety underneath all their language, a deeper sort of quest for each person to validate their individual existence. You’ll see this web of tug-of-war where everyone is pulling, clawing, scratching, grasping for this weight.

It’s like there’s a secret limited stash of golden currency in the air, and everyone’s fighting for it by telling the better story, bragging about their bank account, trying to be the funny guy, showing off their intelligence, dropping famous names, wearing a name, holding up false bravado, pretending to be a mystery, masking their voice in tight controlled expressions of eloquence.

You know what this is: insecurity. Everyone’s fighting for glory to cover the emptiness, that vacuum fracture. And even when they get the glory from that room, it will never be enough: because we weren’t made for the temporary glory of this earth. Our true glory is beyond the room, outside one another, from on high.

— J.S.

If you’re a Christian, whether you like it or not, you’re preaching with your blog.  This is a big deal.  Of course, we all have an insecurity that we don’t deserve the platforms we have.  Most of us are conveying a hologram of the person we-would-like-to-be.

I think it’s okay to be honest about that — to say, “I’m not there yet.”  We’re all still learning here, most especially me.

The harsh truth is, I see too many Christian bloggers who are trying to preach much further than they really are and always talking from a condescending high ground of pseudo-idealism.  Include me in there: I’m always tempted to act tougher than I really am.  We seem to care less about loving actual people and more about tweeting our moral epiphanies.  It’s a lot of full-time blogging from part-time Christians only saying things they’d like to do, like a half-competent coach who pushes his students so he can live vicariously through their success.  If that sounds mean, it’s because it hurts my heart to see so much passion with no momentum.

I wish we were more transparent about how hard it really is: not in a way that enables or pampers, but actually relies on the God we claim to love.  I wish we could stop chest-bumping the hardness of our right theology and stop shaming other Christians with coercive manipulative one-liners.

It’s easy to be a basement blogger and to post photos of the mission trip; it’s harder to roll up our sleeves everyday and get into the grit of real hurting lives.

Blogging naturally necessitates that you put your life on hold to write about your experiences — but if you go immediately from the moment to blogging, you’re not really letting the experience take hold of your heart.  Soon you’re only doing the bare minimum to write for likes and reblogs, which is not transformative but showcasing.  We can all see through it.

If you keep taking shortcuts from living to blogging by skating on the surface of faith, you’ll short-circuit intimacy with the glorious, face-melting, galaxy-sculpting Creator — and He’s the only one who can pierce our hearts deep enough to genuinely sacrifice for each other.

It’s cool if you have the Instagram with the ocean wallpaper and the pick-me-up verses in fancy fonts.  I just think God would rather you be you and not some shrill version of you, to be honest about your unique challenges in this journey with Him.

If I Hear “Wrecked” One More Time

I saw a blog post the other day about “The Future of The Church” written by a guy who was about twenty years old, with all kinds of bold declarations about the decline of ministry.  I think it was supposed to “wreck” me.  I like him and he’s a good person, but I sort of cringed at the whole thing.  Not because he was wrong, but because he cared too much about being right.

Continue reading “Christian Bloggers Trying To Go Viral: Preaching All Day But Ain’t Living Your Bible” →